People’s stories of living in Shared Lives

Roy has lived in Shared Lives for 6 years now. He has formed a great relationship with his Carer and her family, a relationship based on mutual trust and respect. Roy has been able to fulfil his wishes. Roy ensured others understood how important it was for him to have access to his own money, and with the support of an appointee and his carer he now has access to his finances. He has been supported by his carer to gain the confidence to travel independently around the city, Roy can tell you the number of any bus and its destination. Roy makes good use of travelling independently and visits the friends he has made and goes to all the places he wants to go.

So, what about the football !!! Roy was supported to attend his first few football matches and is now a Season ticket holder for Coventry City Football Club, he has also been able to make friends with a family who sit next to him, Roy calls them his “Football Family” Roy regular meets up with them and attends away matches too, Roy’s confidence supports him to make and maintain real friendships away from his support network, this is what life’s about for Roy, when Roy was asked what is the best thing about living in Shared Lives he stated

“I go out every day and some nights, I have my own room where I can watch some tv if I want to and I have Sky, so I watch all the football that I want to. I can use the bus and walk, and I go and visit people. I can do jobs in the house like setting the table, clearing away, hang washing out and bring it in when it is dry or if it starts to rain. I like to make drinks for visitors and always make people feel welcome. I like to have jobs that I can do, it is important to me.”

Shared Lives has offered Roy a sense of belonging, feeling valued and respected. Roy feels of equal value in his household, he is proud of the responsibilities he has.

Hello my name is Aleem,

I was born in Coventry and lived there until I was 12 yrs old. I use to spend time with my family and then with foster carers, before moving to Ashwood Children's Home in Derbyshire, in July 2018, this was my first time in a children’s home, I really liked it there, especially going to all different activities and living with friends some were also from Coventry. The adults at the Children's home are now my lifelong links and I text them all and sometimes go out with them. At Ashwood I learnt a lot and went to various different clubs including; football, cadets and youth club. I also went on work experience whilst at school and got a part time job from it. I had lots of fun there and felt sad when I knew I had to leave.  When leaving I wanted to continue all my clubs, college and work, which moving to Nathan & Rachel’s house allowed me to do this.

When I turned 18yrs old I did not want to leave my home. There was a possibility that I would need to return to Coventry when I was an adult, I wanted to stay where I knew,  I had been there for over 5 years and I would miss everybody a lot, having different adults around me gave me the chance to do things with other people. When my Social Worker told me that Nathan would like to offer me a place to live with him and his family, I was very happy to be living with somebody I knew as I was not ready to live alone.

If it wasn’t for Nathan offering me a home things could have been different for me.  I do not think living in Coventry was a good idea, I would have had to leave college, moved away from my clubs including football team and been away from adults I know who care about me and can help me when I need it.

When I was offered a placement with Nathan and Rachel I was excited,  and when I started visiting their home and seeing Chester their son and Ruby the dog it started to feel very good. I am the sugar to their sweet, this makes them smile when I say that as their surname is Sweet.

I like living with Nathan and Rachel, I go to family events such as birthday parties like Chesters and family friends, I go for meals with everybody and we have been to Centre Parcs with their friends and we’re going on a family holiday to Bulgaria which I have never been to,  I continue doing my regular activities and I have been to watch lots of football matches with Nathan including a European Semi Final. I have continued with my job and we’ve had lots of fun.

 I have not thought about the future and where I will be going because I like living with them, I hope they’ll be involved in my life if I want to move on and become more independent.

Nathan and Rachel share their family life

Nathan has known Aleem for just under 6 years, moving to Ashwood a month after him, there has been some incredible times, when Nathan spoke to Rachel whilst on holiday about Aleem’s situation and the concerns with his vulnerabilities, it was agreed that Nathan would speak to the social worker to see if it was an option for them to be approved as Shared Lives carers . Nathan states; Aleem, we knew would fit into our family well, and everybody including our little son would take to him, our friends and family we knew would love him. Aleem has fitted in with family life extremely well.

We supported Aleem during Ramadan and Nathan also completed period of Ramadan with Aleem before celebrating Eid, Aleem has a lot in the local community such as; college, work, football and friendship and we thought it was vital for these to continue allowing Aleem to receive education and earn money as well as being around people he knows well.

When asked how do you see the future for Aleem? Nathan continues; The future is something which is scary for everybody, our hope is that Aleem lives within our home for as long as he needs and then when he wants to move on he can move to somewhere that we can continue to support and he comes for dinner, holidays and spend time with us, like lots of people leaving their home it is still their home and celebrations and trips away they come back for and we would love Aleem to be able to pop in and it still be his home even when he moves on.

Nathan and Rachel was asked if there has been any positive impact on their lives since inviting Aleem into their family home, Nathan responded; Our surname is Sweet and Aleem has called himself the sugar to our sweet and we love it, he literally fits into our lives incredible, we cannot remember before he lived with us. Our son Chester will always ask about Aleem, where is he? Will I see him before bed? He always wants to play with Aleem. Chester’s friend has met Aleem twice and brought Chester some sweets to share with Aleem, knowing that they come as a pair.

We went away for one night without Aleem and Chester, Aleem being supported by a nominated carer,  and the obvious questions came through our heads for them both;  I hope they had a good night sleep, we contacted them to say good morning. We hope Aleem knows how important he is to us and we’re privileged to have him live with us.