Discussing dyslexia with your child
It is important to discuss your child’s reading and writing challenges, during a quiet moment in a place where they feel relaxed, rather than while they are stressed, trying to complete a piece of homework.
What you could say:
"I’ve been talking to your teacher today about how well you are doing in… and how hard you work in all of your other lessons. I know that literacy is still really hard for you. Let’s have a chat about it."
Explain what dyslexia means
Your child needs to know that dyslexia may present challenges. But make sure that they know that they are as clever as their peers who don’t have it and that they are not alone.
What you could say:
"I know that you struggle with reading sometimes. You have a difficulty called dyslexia. That’s a big word which explains why some children and adults find it hard to learn to read, write and spell. You are as clever as other people, but your brain just works a little differently. There are lots of other children who have trouble learning to read! And dyslexia doesn’t stop you from being great at other things such as…"
Use accurate language
Specific words can help this ‘thing’ causing your child’s reading and writing issues feel more defined and manageable.
What you could say:
"You may have heard the word dyslexia at school. Now we know that you have dyslexia, we can use that word too. Soon we will start working with your teachers to create an individualised Education Plan or IEP for short. It will list your goals for reading and writing and say how your teachers are going to help you reach them."
Explain how the teachers at school are going to help
Children/young people with dyslexia may worry that their teachers think that they are not trying. They need to know that their school understands their challenges and has ways of helping/supporting them.
What you could say:
"I know that some of your lessons are really hard because of all of the reading and writing that you have to do, but schools are always finding new ways of helping pupils. Your teachers want to help you to succeed and they know lots of different ways to do it. We will be meeting with school regularly and you will be invited too. That way we can all work together to find the best ways to help and support you, in moving forward."
Let your child know that you are there for them
Your child probably wonders whether you realise how much dyslexia affects their everyday life. Show them that you understand and support them.
What you could say:
"I know that your dyslexia affects all kinds of everyday activities like reading the rules of a new board game, or reading the menu when we go out. But I’m so proud of you for always working hard, wanting to learn and do well, even though dyslexia can make that trickier. I will always help you to get the help and support you need."
Discuss sibling relationships
Because children/young people may receive extra attention from adults they sometimes worry about how their brothers and sisters view them.
What you could say:
"Your sister sees how hard you’re working with your reading. She knows that I need to spend a little more time with you. If the tables were turned, I would do the same for her. I will make sure that she understands that."
Offer guidance on how to talk to friends
Your child’s classmates may be familiar with their learning differences but friends from outside school probably aren’t. Let the child/young person know that you will help them to work out how to discuss their dyslexia if and when they want to.
What you could say:
"It’s up to you if you want to talk about your dyslexia with people. If you don’t want to get into a deeper discussion with someone, you can just say: It’s not that I can’t learn to read. I just need to learn in a different way."
Reassure your child about the future
Your child needs a safe place to raise their concerns about growing up with dyslexia. Ask about their hopes and aspirations. Do they want to go to university? Do they have a dream job? Discuss the possible ways of achieving this. Let the child/young person know that they will be able to lead a full adult life.
What you could say:
"It’s perfectly normal to wonder how dyslexia may affect you when you are an adult. I believe you will have lots of opportunities to pursue your passions. Your difficulties with reading and writing won’t disappear, but with determination and hard work, I’m confident that you can achieve your dreams."
